"Sometimes love reminds me of diarrhea; Just when you think you’re finally done, you realise that no, actually you are not!"
reblogged post
Drizzlingederrer asked edatlin : How many things have you blamed on pigs?
I blame everything on pigs.
Another deep question answered
(Source: edatlin)
"The one who demands is always someone who has nothing to offer if asked to."
Experiments on accents (based on a real study)
The American Comito Study is now expanding its research to Europe. They want to see how effective an American accent is in creating sexual arousal in Europeans. The displeased professors stated “It’s not going to be easy and this is outrageous! Europeans don’t always respond to an American accent with arousal and you do realise who is to be blamed for all of our global sexual doom now, don’t you? George W. Bush and the absurd Obama 2009 nobel peace prize! That right! ” It took almost two hours to calm down the professors in order to carry on the experiments. When everything was settled back to normal , three thousand men and women ranging in age from 18 to 54 were monitored to detect sexual arousal after hearing different foreign accents. Women seemed more attracted to accents of the more hot-blooded countries – Spain, Brazil Greece and such. A few excited females went “weak in the knees” over the British accent, as a proof that it still remains extremely sexy to the human ear and later, at some critical point, the interesting experiments were interrupted all of a sudden, by a naked madman running furius from room to room, yelling repeteadly “If I had a British accent, I’d never shut up”, making it very hard for the police to decide on whether he should be arrested or inteviewed, as the nude rebel had a good point!
Dr.House and the shocking news (based on a true story)
“Doctor House MD” turned out to be quite a riddle for the medical society, as the actor playing the pivotal role, is British, speaking in a british accent, plays a character of an American citizen who speaks in the American accent. As a result, this shift has been the cause of the so called “foreign accent syndrome” amongst many of his viewers that had enjoyed his acting skills in the past in “Black Adder”, another famous British show. One of the victims, was a Geogia mom, who went to the hospital with a stroke and came home with a British accent and bad teeth. This is a condition that some of her doctors have suggested is psychological, brought on by stress. No one knows how long the accent will last. But many are tired of her cooking fish and chips and saying “mate” and “jumpers” and “jolly” and her teeth keeping getting worse and worse each day.
“I was speaking to a friend the other day and we were excited about something we were talking about and I was just about to say, ‘Spot on!’ And who says ‘Spot on!’ from South Georgia,” she said. “Mostly I would like to know if there’s someone who maybe has a little more answer on what happened to me, because it’s still quite a question mark,” she said.
There’s always hope for worse
It’s helpful to keep reminding to yourself and repeating the sentence “life isn’t an emergency”, because roses smell better than a cabbage, which fact concludes that it will also make a better soup - logic says it - and after a quick lunch, don’t hesitate; give the world the best you have and it may never be good enough! If the world gives nothing back in return though and you feel cold over this, don’t be dissapointed. Just remember; driving is always better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow. If you fall into any of them, don’t forget that it’s snow and it’s white and all bad feelings shall melt away by Spring.
An empty pan vs a man’s empty stomach can get one dangerous business!
It’s been way too long since we’ve seen those knowing looks, twinkling eyes and I still remember learning how to do the basic loop-and-through method of the look like she just threw the scarf around her neck and choked herself almost to death.
“This is all excellent” said her husband who just got back from work..”but may I ask what will we eat in the seventh year if we do not plant, since you decided not to cook today?”
She remained silent, which solid manifest and the innocent look on her face, drove him completely nutters and thus he decided to finish off his no-good wife. Before even thinking twice, he approached her in utter despise and unsurpassed dark intensions; yet just before getting his trembling hands around her neck, she burst into tears and suprised him by suggesting to order a pizza. He smiled, she smiled back and then they kissed and words vanished through a pantomime beyond description!
one modest person
He was modest. He was very modest. He was so modest and he wanted the whole world to know just how modest he was!!!
a dialogue
-I’m sorry.. At the top it says: “OMG I have been offended’. … Tell me what you think
-A wise man once said, “I don’t know, go ask a woman.” p.s. I’m not “offended” by what he said, but we never opened our insides. For our insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase.I’m not so good with the advice. can i interest you in a sarcastic comment?
-….. Omg this is so hilarious! Do you REALLY think ESPN said this out of hate for Lin’s race?
-I’m not a sports writer, so I tried to avoid the whole Linsanity phenomenon;
-my …and imagined that some might find it funny, yet I was quite offended by the distasteful “chink in the armor” line.
-I don’t know, I think he said something about retracing our steps to make sure we weren’t being followed? but it shouldn’t take this long since last we met
- nice try but no. we have to be careful to not become too popular and I think if you talk to most parents, they’ll tell you Steve and sorry brother but unlike you, most of us here don’t have to say “thanks” to God or the closeness you feel out of bed and being close to God does bring Atheists, don’t be offended ,because men prefer sex in this order: 1) good sex, 2)any sex.
- I’m NOT master of my domain sex.
-I see.
-Yes. 49 months and that was a very long time ago..
-I can imagine.
The doorbell rang. I rushed to open the door. It was HIM
I invited HIM in. After a short dialogue in a friendly manner, HE said
“I can’t look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy. Does the world really need another John Water’s counter-morality play?”
For the second time in my life, as surprising as this may sound, I was currently lost of words..
bad news
At his death Thomas had almost nothing to leave to his sons and the family had to eat rats and Gareth David-Lloyd, another renowned fan of James in the horror and fantasy genre who himself ate Clark and it would be set to music or so he claimed before he got eaten. What could they do though? Life is hard. innit
