So, when those fine gentlemen are candidates for the famous moustache competitions, I reckon, the night before, they must be in tremendus anxiety as any contestant in their place would be, thinking till the very break of dawn what other option could there exist in order to make that extra facial hair look most superbe and unique? During all that agony, they may be saying to their wives “Don’t...
Sometimes, I remember the tragic story of the sad Princess, Diana -God rest her soul -and who in his logic senses could blame the woman for looking like a complete emotional wreck? Any effort for a successful orgasm could certainly be not considered as an easy task to put up with, when that Charles forcefully refused to put on the god damn paper bag -the bastard - and the ”cow” position and such...
Colin: The more a man meditates upon good thoughts, the better his world will be.
Albert: Don’t say!
Albert: Such harmony! but..how?
Colin: Before going to sleep, imagine better times.
Albert: Thank you Colin for taking the time and trouble to inform and amuse us!
Colin: Always at your service!
Albert: My god!
Somewhere near Moumpaalanghaa, the "crocodile...
Somewhere near Moumpaalanghaa, the “crocodile river”, adjacent to the city of Zenith, at around five o’clock in the afternoon, Cairo time, he visited her apartment for the first and possibly the last time, for she didn’t seem to be in any mood for his games anymore or at least for that day, because she didn’t know whether she should trust him again after all he had...
When I lived in other people’s bodies, lots of times I was a monkey, a cat, a puppy twice and once I even was a duck. It was quite an experience whilst switching, because when I opened my eyes realising I was already in the new body, I would almost forget all about the other ones and what’s worst, my real one. This made the next shift an unpleasant task for me on each such occasion. I...
Dear Tom, I truly understand your slight confusion and that someone has got to pay your rent this month, but please get ahold of yourself; there’s no need to get over dramatic, as long as your paycheck still arrives on time. A statement as “Russian critics (and if not the whole nation) has traditionally looked scornfully on Western attempts to screen Russian classics”, is at the...
A poem about Rodriguez
There was a pervert, named Rodriguez the sleaziest creature in the whole galaxy but to all his male friends he’d be the poor little guy that all women mistreated you know why? Because there’s this little detail that some like to call “Bros before ho’s” and sly Rodriguez knew this By simply stating “she was just a bitch” he had his doings covered...
Employee 1: Sir? Excuse me, sir?
Employee 2: How can I help you?
Employee 1: First off, would you be so kind to remove your right index from the left channel of your nose?
Employee 2: Oh?
Employee 1: Are you working here sir?
Employee 2: Yes.
Employee 1: I realise you are new in the office. However, I must inform you that nosepicking is banned during the working hours.
Employee 2: How about scratching?
Employee 1: Don’t patronize me!
Employee 2: I am not; it’s a different verb and therefore it’s for a different function.
Employee 1: Whatever you do, please keep your hands away from your nose.
Employee 2: Can I touch yours?
Employee 1: Certainly not. What are you….You think you’re really smart don’t you?
Employee 2: Well….as a matter of fact, yes. Yes, I do. Correct me if I’m wrong, but the company has hired me for the exact qualities.
Employee 1: Then keep your nose away from this business.
Employee 2: How about yours?
Employee 1: Same goes for me. Just like anyone else. It is the law. Didn’t you read the constitute? I suggest that you should.
Employee 2: Very well. But do you think I could at least touch your nose during the lunch break?
Employee 1: That depends.
Employee 2: On what?
Employee 1: On your best or worst behavior.
If you are an admin in any “most tech-savvy” forum and you are reading this, look man…just because you’re the “know-it-all”, the “super duper know-it-all” guy around those places, this does not justify a bad profile pic and especially a particular horrific close-up, that makes you look like a sleezy, creepy, sweaty pervert that took a picture with no pants on. I realise...
A brief spoiler on Rambo: First Blood Part II
John Rambo had never been the type of man who just decides spontaneously to go anywhere; he is invited first! and thus he leaves at once for a rescue mission in the jungles of Vietnam. There, he meets his agent, a local woman named Co-Bao. He kills quite an amount of people, until he is captured. Agent Co-Bao assists him in escaping the captivity. He kills quite an amount of people once again...
Bikinization and it's social aspects
Lois: How can you say you like it, just because it is at the root of the bikinization of jeans? Did you happen to know that their cousin who calls himself “the my gut” and I have skirmished since I first saw pictures of myself in my mind? In fact and if you must know, it became like all the corpulent and corrupt soldier-king types and you very well may hate my guts for saying so, but I think you’re getting gray hair.
Paul: What has that got to do with my sister in law?
Lois: Oh, sorry. I must have been confused.
Paul: So. You think my hair is getting grey huh?
Lois: Yes, I do. I was trying to tell you in a really polite way; I really think you must consider of starting dying your hair.
Paul: Wow! I didn’t realise; I thought you said I looked so young and attractive..
Paul: Come again?
Lois: Bikinization. It's a bad thing.
Paul: Are you avoiding the issue?
Lois: What issue?
Paul: You lied to me, you terrible terrible woman!
Lois: Bikinization is a really bad thing.
Another problem solved
He was so scared that at any minute now someone would step forward to ask him whether there was anything that scared him. After all this was just another random question in the list. What kind of nonsense and who created the god damn list in the first place anyway? He’d reply negatively. Problem solved. What a brave man he was!
random youtube comments section #2
youtuber who watched the video : Dude, wipe that shit off your chin. It looks ridiculous.
youtuber who posted the video: That's my beard. What you call "shit on my chin" is my beard.
youtuber who watched the video: Yes. That. Wipe it.
Laura and Henry
Laura: So, Henry...according to your words, I am a no good.
Laura: So, let me get this straight; You said specifically that I'm a no good for you and this is why you decided to abandon me and I accepeted your wish back then. Right?
Laura: and yet now, you say you felt a sudden urge to come back to the one you hate so much.
Henry: and this is exactly why I hate you!
I read somewhere…”do not try to understand women; women understand women and they don’t like each other”. Let’s set the record straight now once and for all; we don’t dislike each other. We are just aware of everything we’re capable of.
random youtube comments section
WHEN i TRIED THIS FOR MY iPAD IT SAID ONLY THE FIRST 7 DAYS ARE FREE. DO YOU KNOW WHY? do you always go around yelling at people WHEN i TRIED THIS FOR MY iPAD IT SAID ONLY THE FIRST 7 DAYS ARE FREE. DO YOU KNOW WHY? Because it is the mobile version. Thanks. So, do you need an internet connection to use a VPN….like could I use it if my home internet goes down? Sorry if this is a dumb...
Thomas the Greek and Nick the prick
Thomas: Could you please give me directions to an olive garden?
Nick: No, but I could give you directions to an Italian restaurant.
Thomas: Thank you so much, but I'm not hungry. I would like to see an olive tree.
Nick: Oh and I thought you wanted to eat olives ha-ha
Thomas: Well, that's impossible. You see sir, you can't just pick an olive from an olive tree and eat it; they taste awful when fresh.
Nick: They do?
Thomas: Well, yeah... it takes a lot of preperation after picking them in order to be able to eat them.
Nick: In that case what you need is simply the olive factory. All you have to do is to take the first turn to your right and then..
Thomas: I'm sorry for interrupting you and thanks a lot for your kind help, but I don't want to visit an olive factory. I would like to go just to the olive garden.
Nick: What do you need an olive garden for? Besides it's too far away from here...So, as I was saying....turning left at Baker steet will..
Thomas: Excuse me.. Sir?
Thomas: I do not want to eat olives, nor visit an olive factory. I just want to go to the olive garden.
Nick: Now you are just being difficult, are't you?
Thomas: Excuse me?
Nick: Where are you from?
Thomas: Greece..but what does...
Nick: Greek? From Greece?
Nick: Are all Greeks as difficult as you are?
Nick: Say....is it true that Greeks are arrogant?
Thomas: Who would like to know?
Nick: There! So! It IS true!
Thomas: You're really something aren't you?
Nick: Oh my God! Arrogant AND rude!! Jesus!
Thomas: Why you....
Nick: Oh my God! Don't touch me! Don't touch me...I will call the police...
Thomas: I'm not touching you...what are you saying ? Wh
Nick: Officer! Officer!! Arrest this man!
Thomas: Whaaaa...are you out of your mind?
Nick: Officer!!! Officer! Arrest this arrogant man from Greece that has come to demonstrate the old customs of his sivilization!
January 1st This year it’ll all be neat right from scratch. February 1st Oh well, the stupid things I say on the shift of 31/12 March 1st Fuck this shit! I’m a humble student; my year starts from September, the 1st. I have all the time of the world! September 1st God damn it!!! November 1st My birthday is in a week?…. Oh no God why???? December 1st This had been the worst...
I hardly ever change my mind; I expand it. and you Catherine, you’re a fool who knows she’s a fool. I don’t know if fools know they’re fools, but if some of them do, then you’re one of those above average fools. My heart? It’s large. My mind is set. Where are you now Catherine? Don’t cry. It irritates me. I don’t know why it irritates me. Maybe...
Over the telephone (edited)
“Oh hi Steve! I see you’ve decided to call again? Well, isn’t that a pleasant surprise? I’m quite well, thank you! How about you? Great! I hope you didn’t take me the wrong way the last time you called..I just don’t know what kind of a Beelzebub gotten into me that day to characterize you as a son of a bi..Why thank you! I’m so very glad you are so understanding! You know Steve, I gave it a lot of...
The Art Blogosphere of Chris O’Kelley: At night,... →
cokelley: I go to bed every night with visions of my immortality within a shell of my own mortality and a reminder that I’ve never trusted a single thing that considers itself a mortal and walks for the sake of walking while I walk for the sake of dying and live so that I may forget how to live and… One of the greatest poems!! Thank you C.O’K!
Harry and his psychiatrist #2
Harry, honestly…I’ve tried every cure that there was known in modern science and your problem is just…I don’t know..uncurable perharps? Have you ever considered of trying masturbation?
A poem about a poet :D
You call yourself a poet……..then you have to understand me. whatever did I ever say to you, poet? Why did you break my heart why you came here, you saw, then you got back to your desk, thinking you won and wrote a poem you didn’t win my heart; it’s empty there! see? Now what am I supposed to do with a poem? It doesn’t cure my broken heart. It can’t fix...
[Chorus] Last Christmas I gave you my hhhhhrrrrrrrtttt But the very next day you gave it away This year To save me from fears we’ll have Spisy Kebab made out of Reindeers altogether now!
THE OTHER HALF - stop motion animation (plasticine) My experimental sounds to my first STOP-MOTION ANIMATION, made of plasticine. I used 256 digital photo frames for this work. Was good fun making it! to watch this animation in utube (in HD quality) click on the following link or copy paste it to your browser http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbnjIagsVQk&feature=youtu.be
My keyboard #4
It’s been such a long time I haven’t opened up my keyboard to wash it (yes, wash it), that I’m 100% sure that by now, the number of crumbs stuck in it, must be enough to make a whole three-floor wedding cake; gross!!!
My keyboard #3
The first serious case of falling objects on my keyboard was a cup. Now things would have gone really great for me, if the cup wasn’t filled with hot coffe; I had to get up and make myself another one.
My keyboard #2
The last thing that fell on my keyboard was a lit candle… Don’t ask; it was horrible!
I’m pretty certain now that this keyboard I’m typing with, must be the most abused thing I’ve ever possessed. Oh! If only it could speak, boy would it tell stories……
an homage to homo habilis
greenblood: you know; i had a dream last night where you were the tortoise and i wear the shell and we went together to the depths of hell
“Life is hard innit” translation (at least the way I use this phrase) 1. I totally agree with you - you let them know who’s the boss man! ~Life is hard (in general) 2. I honestly do not know what to answer; I am currently lost of words. ~Life is really hard for me sometimes (obviously, this is one of those times). 3. Because you are as stupid as fuck. I may be wrong, but I am...
resting-on-the-rings-of-saturn: if we were corners of sky, you’d be the left one and I’d be the right because right is always wrong, the trees always bend their spines to lean in to kiss you with infinite hellos and I haven’t tasted real oxygen in years.
Some web dialogue
-Wow! “heartbreaker”? What kind of a nickname is that? -Why… What seems to be the problem? -Are you dangerous or something? -… -You very well might be..I mean, this nickname may be a warning. I mean, you must have some good reason for choosing it, right? It could be an option for sure, I reckon.. as I don’t wish to be heartbroken as that kind of an option; you...
Rrrriiin!!! Pick up the phone Barry..pickitup!! Oh! He picked up..Jesus! Finally! -Hello? -Hello?…uh..hello! Barry? -This is Barry. -Barry! Why? -“Why” what? -Why did you turn me down without giving me the chance to rock your world? -To rock my what? -….Your…ahm… world? To ro… -Are you sure? -What do you mean “am I sure”; Of course I am sure! To ro… -No! (clanck) Tsk!...
-Greek huh? -Yes. I am Greek. -Sooo… a beachcomber huh? -ahmmm….I’m not really sure. It’s not like Brazil here or something. -Don’t you people swim there? -Yeah. We swim. We Greeks swim, but not all of us. I do. -So, you must have an amazing tan huh? -Nah.. I’m pale rather. Like very very white? -In Summer too? -Pretty much. yes. I can’t tan...
re: A slight change throughout the description of...
I didn’t mean to say it, but hell yeah bro… my hair is pretty irresistable and irresistably touchable as well, but not on all occasions! They happen to be amazing honestly! It’s not my fault I was born this way with hair as glorious as that though, alright? I mean, I’m really sorry.. I mean, I’m just..I’m sorry alright? Please say you forgive me or I’ll...
What a strange thing...
Sheila was a real woman! Yes sir! All 120%! She was so feminine, that she always acted on impulse just a second before realising she probably shouldn’t have!
A poem I wrote about Cokelley :)
The fearless co-K! You know what world? Don’t let his sensitivity and kindness fool you! he’s got the will of thousand gigavolts! A heart of steal and the the roar of a lion and if you don’t believe me, just have a look at his red curly hair all over the place; speaking of immense awesomeness on their own! And as if this wasn’t enough, they are natural and superbe! ...
From my dialogues with my purse
What can I say though? I found my purse, but then, the strangest thing happened…The purse felt like talking to me… -Soooo… you say you wanna go out huh? -I didn’t say anything yet… -I see you all dressed up fancy, so I reckon you must be ready to go out.. -Well, yeah. I guess I am. said I and smiled -Ahuh… said the purse and gave me the creepy look ...
Breakfast -What’s for breakfast? -The usual bullshit -What? Again? Lunch -What’s for lunch? -Dinner - … Dinner -What’s for dinner? -The usual breakfast. -Weeeee!
Betty and Thomas
After twenty years of marriage, Betty got a divorce from Thomas, because Thomas wanted to be absolutely equal with his wife, while in contraverse, Betty didn’t; all she ever wanted was just to be his slave, a server, an admirer even, if you will. Well, this, Thomas found profoundly broutal to put up with for any longer, leaving him ultimetely with no other choice, but finding himself a mistress to...
Another domestic drama (edited)
-Alright. I am jealous of her, ok? Happy now? -Pretty much, yes, very happy! ha-ha you are really.. -Shut up! -…What’s wrong? -I hate you and I hate her! I despise her with all my guts! I hate my life. I hate the whole planet right now to be absolutely honest…and you? you, mostly! -Hey…why are you so upset pumpkin? -Don’t call me pumpkin! I’m not your pumpkin anymore! You never understand...
MONKEY´S MIND: From my dialogues with a cup of... →
a-titled: -I can’t sleep when I must sleep; what is wrong with me? suddenly said I and looked suspiciously at the empty cup of coffe on my desk.. -Nothing..responded the cup of coffee as soft as possible -Uh ok….cos I was confused there for a while….” said I -Now go wash me at once! said… my cup is my cop
From my dialogues with a cup of coffee
-I can’t sleep when I must sleep; what is wrong with me? suddenly said I and looked suspiciously at the empty cup of coffe on my desk.. -Nothing..responded the cup of coffee as soft as possible -Uh ok….cos I was confused there for a while….” said I -Now go wash me at once! said the cup of coffee -O.K.
Depression issues and whatnot
So he says..”…you don’t look like a depressed person.” “How do depressed people look like?” asked I “They definetely don’t make jokes all the time, like you do” said he “Shall I take this as a compliment and thank you?” asked I He didn’t know what to answer. I didn’t either.
Desperation awaits under someone else’s conditions